Changed the formatting so I could read it:

Hello all, my name is Chad Bryant and I dont give two fucks who sees my name on here. I've seen a lot of posts lately about the best and brightest leaving and whole families and I need to reaffirm that it is happening. My mother was a Pratt from the Parley side and I was always very proud of that and waved it around as a badge of honor. I was always the president of every quorum growing up and a people pleaser. My father was not a member and I always felt like he was going to Hell because he would never join the church and we would not be an eternal family. I hated him for it and the church continually made me feel that he was a horrible person because he smoked and drank a little and swore occasionally.

I also wrestled with the massive guilt and shame and fear of masturbation since I turned about twelve. I knew I would never be good enough for god or to make it to the celestial kingdom, but I still tried hard to repent every time I touched myself, which was about every fucking day, and sometimes two or three times. Talk about massive piles of guilt. I knew in my heart that god hated me. In high school I had sex with my girlfriend and once I tasted that sweet nectar, I was pretty much done for. I could not get enough of what a woman could offer me. Of course, I still blessed the sacrament every week and the bishop was no wiser, so much for the spirit of discernment I guess.

After high school I went completely inactive and continued to have sex with as many woman as I could and eventually got my much younger girlfriend pregnant when I was 21. We both chose to give our daughter up for adoption and this event triggered in me all the teachings of the church that told me I was on a runaway train to Hell. Cue going back to church and retrenching like never before, I was all in. I served branch presidencies, elders quorum presidencies, young men's president, scoutmaster, Sunday school teacher, primary teacher, back into elders quorum and then finally elders quorum president. ''Tis true what they say about it all coming crashing down when you are in that job. At this point I had been married for about 15 years and had three children. I was a full tithe payer on gross income of course.

I was flying for the airlines and started my own investigation of people's beliefs. I have always been very analytically minded and lots of stuff about religious doctrine just did not line up. I had very long discussions in that cockpit with people from every background and I began to understand that almost every single person I talked to was an atheist or had zero interest in religion. I began not only a deep study of the Mormon faith, but all religions. Years of reading and study, ( I should have a Phd in religion about now) have now confirmed what my mind was always screaming at me. People are fucked up and we will believe almost any stupid thing we are told as long as it comes with the right people saying it, the correct feelings associated with it, the insidious years of brainwashing, and lots and lots of fear, guilt, and shame.

This is getting long, so I will finish it up. I feared divorce when I told my wife and the loss of my family was a heavy albatross hanging around my neck. I had to be free though, no matter what it took. My wife was heartbroken and scared at first, but told me she married me and not the church. We moved from Colorado to North Carolina and I stopped going to church. I told her she was free to believe whatever she wanted and I would support her if she allowed me the same consideration. After several months she stopped going altogether and has not been back in almost three years. She supported my decision to resign last year even though she has not taken that step. Freedom from the cult has never felt so good! My wife and I have now been married 21 years, our children tell us everything and we are a close family unit. There is happiness outside the church and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I was being groomed for much higher leadership, I was paying enormous sums of money to the corporation, and gave far too much of my precious time at home to the church and helpless people that would never help themselves. It's over, it's done, and Damn! Does it feel good. I raise my hand to the square and affirm that I am the best and the brightest and they will never get me back. There is hope my friends of exmormon reddit. Reach for that brass ring and live your one and only life!