[Prolix for my own catharsis, and destined for deletion!]

The times I've had a ONS or TNS (T for Two or Three; not Ten, Twelve, Thirteen, etc which would just be FBs or FWBs or some other acronym) have generally been because some situational factor interfered: geography, the other person getting into a relationship, etc. But the stands have been pretty awesome.

I semi-delight in the juxtaposition of strangers (e.g., OKC folks: people I don't really "know") and sex or hooking up (Biblically, "knowing"). I just think it is a magnificent experience; to go suddenly from that not-knowing to the corporeal-knowing feels to me like Mario warping (pipe or whistle, pick your metaphor). And I'm sure there are other ways of articulating the action antipodally (attachment & detachment, etc), but I hope my meaning is understandable.

To compare it to the same person for a while, well, I have had some (mutually) well-received first time encounters, but, of course, one should hope to improve in most endeavors with practice over time. Also, to continue to hookup with a person, as opposed to being one and done (or so), may be due to a latent variable; namely, it is likely that the repeats are so chosen because there was some shared appeal (perhaps mostly physical, perhaps emotional). The result is two groups that begin to diverge in characteristics such that comparing them directly is no longer simple.

As to notches on the bedpost, well, I think the metric is more logarithmic than linear; that is, only 1 in your life is quite different from 2 or 3 in your life, and that is a bit different from 4 to 9, and the spacing keeps growing. And so if the goal is to level up with another notch, then it becomes increasingly difficult. If you are at 31, is that so different from 32? 33? 40? I see the appeal in variety (body shape, culture/language, individual preferences, etc; I think this can affect the "quality") and maybe the person who will finally be down to act out XYZ fantasy is ONS # 34 (praise be!) but I believe the competition with oneself would devolve into chasing a moving target, and a competition with others, well, there is a quotation (from Ernest Hemingway) that goes:

There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self

and I think this rings somewhat true for the analogous situation here, which is not to say that there is anything "noble" about sexual pursuits, but rather that it will be best to act in a way that improves yourself rather than aiming to outdo others.