If you don't tell them, how can you expect them to know.

Easiest way avoid a problem is to stop it before it happens. If you know you have all these issues and are so excitable that you have to be "a lot more toned down and reserved" you should probably let the photographer know before.

I can guarantee she was simply surprised by how you were acting (and may have thought you were on something). Lots of photographers make comments on people's behaviors in a lighthearted nature and in jest to help break the ice and loosen people up Maybe not the best approach, but something A LOT of photographers do considering the range of people they deal with (esp at weddings O.O).

That being said, if she didn't stop the comments immediately when you said "Hey, I don't like it when you say that and it makes me uncomfortable" then she is in the wrong. But If you didn't say anything, I agree with her when she said "sorry you took it to mean that" because there is nothing she can do now.

Hope your pictures turn out nice!