Tried to kill myself 4 times. Never succeeded and used to think that even that made me a failure. My thought process was so fucked that any little thing (slight from a friend; random embarassing moment) would send me off into the circle happening in my brain. "You are the worst, you shouldn't be here, everyone else hates you."

Therapy gave me space to talk and try to identify what was happening in my brain. I gained coping mechanisms to help me work through the irrationality. Suddenly the fine line I was walking gained stability and I was able to navigate the small slights rather than allowing me to fall into a circle of depression.

Find your will. Find the thing inside you that wants to live and wants to keep pushing. Even if it's just a glimmer, it can be something that changes your whole life. Mine was stubborn-ness. Once I began to phrase it as me fighting with my own brain, I was determined to win. Because I knew I was in there somewhere and I wanted to see who that was. Find those things you tear yourself down about and either change or accept them.

Whatever you do, don't let your brain win.