I was single and a virgin until 22 because of “high standards.” I always had options, like most girls do, and there was normally someone who was trying to fuck me or date me, but they were people I didn’t really actively want. People who’s attention I would expect or take as a given, as opposed to people who’s attention I craved.
I wasn’t so much “waiting” for anything, like if there was a person I was really attracted to trying to get with me, I would’ve. But there wasn’t, so I didn’t. I spent a lot of time wondering why the people I was attracted to weren’t attracted to me. But I knew I would resent anyone I was with who I didn’t see as an equal, honestly. I wanted a partner who was an equal in all ways. Intellect, career ambition, travel, finances, and morals. I wanted someone who’d help me be my best self while I helped him be his best self. Plus I wanted him to be hot. Sue me lol. But most of all I just wanted chemistry. Like, why settle?
Anyway, I found him. He was the friend who was never really just a friend, who I thought I’d never had a chance with. Turns out he thought the same thing. We’ve been together for a year now. He is the kindest and most thoughtful person I know. He surprises me with gifts and brings me coffee in the morning. He’s ambitious in a healthy way, unbelievably smart, and gorgeous. He’s a great communicator who sees the world in a way that has changed my own world view. He’s traveled the world more that I have. He makes good money and is from a family similar to mine. He cooks and cleans as much as I do.
We travel the world (pre-corona) and spend hours in museums, or learning about wine, reading separately but together, or screaming at the game on TV. The most incredible human soul I’ve ever known. So glad I got to skip getting jackhammered by a frat boy in an twin xl bed.
I think the key is, you have to be okay with being alone. Like after a certain point in college I was like, “you know what if I never find anyone here, fine.” I was 100% prepared to spend that whole phase of life alone, and I was okay with that. Love yourself, with or without someone so that the only people you’ll allow into your life are people who enrich it. You’re amazing, the person you date should be amazing too!