Hi there, currently at the starting line (about thirteen pounds down from my heaviest five years ago, but only just now really getting serious about making life changes.)

After a few years of research and half-hearted attempts, I've gathered a bit of info from others who have lost a lot of weight. There seems to be a fair amount of something like regret, and it seems to come from those who go into it thinking that the weight loss will be enough to completely turn their lives around.

I see it instead as a catalyst to change my life, and I've spent a lot of time thinking about why I need to do it and how it will change things. I made two lists:

• Family health problems. Overall we're not too out of line, but the issues that we do tend to develop can be greatly magnified by increased weight. *Clothes shopping. Between my disproportionately large wonderlumps (5'3", DDD) and my weight, very few things fit. Pants my waist size are too long and shirts my size are... never my size. I can't shop in the "Woman" section of stores either, because apparently the only people in America who wear my size pants are Amazonian. *Self Esteem. I hate how I look in photos. Some plus-sized women absolutely rock their body type, but that takes a type of confidence I just don't have. *Fitness. I don't want to just lose weight. I want to be able to hike a mountain without dying. I want to be able to kayak further. *I want to set an example for my family. We've all struggled with weight (except for my magical creature of a younger sister) and I'm hoping that being the one to get the ball rolling will set the example the others (mostly my parents) need.

And then, after reading other peoples' stories, I adjusted my thinking. Losing weight isn't a cure-all. *Being skinnier won't make me instantly attractive to everyone. Boys won't be flocking. *Some people WILL pay more attention to me, and those are the ones to look out for. *Others won't, despite the radical change. Don't be offended - some people really don't care or don't know how to say "wow you aren't fat anymore" without being offensive. *Some people will say things like "wow you aren't fat anymore." Take it as a compliment and move on. *Some people won't like the change. Some people may be jealous. Well it sucks to be them. *This isn't a diet. It's a lifestyle change, and one I need to be able to keep *forever. Buying all new clothes along the way will be costly. Thank God my birthday and Christmas are almost exactly six months apart. *Being skinnier won't fix my social anxiety. Eating better may help my depression, working out may boost my confidence, but being skinny has nothing to do with that. If I'm going to be social, I need to stop making excuses *now.

Hope that helps. If anyone who has lost weight sees a major flaw in my thinking, please tell me now so I don't set a bad example. Again, I'm only at the starting line and I'm trying to manage my own expectations.

If you're on MFP feel free to add me - Magnetron. Open invite to everyone. Support is a great tool!