COVID ruined my entire first pregnancy and first few months of babies life. I feel you. I found out I was pregnant and was elated, then three ish weeks later the world shut down and I felt scared. My husband and I were both only going to work and home and being careful and not seeing anyone. I ended up getting covid from work anyway and it was early pandemic (June 2020) I got really sick and also was so scared my baby would have something wrong because of it. Then he was born and was healthy and we didn't ever leave the house cuz I was scared still. I got pretty bad PPA and PPD probs from living in fear and having no support along with my colicky newborn. We are having a second baby in 2 months and being so close to birth has me more and more anxious every day as all the feelings of intense isolation from the first time are coming back to me now. I've made it a point to do more fun things for myself this pregnancy (mostly just have gotten my toes done, cuz hello, can't reach them, and made sure to still see friends occasionally) and I'm hoping my PP experience will be a bit different since my fam is vaxxed, but the fear just creeps in and starts to consume me. Covid just fucked up too much in the world...so many people have so much trauma for so many reasons.