A question for Vipassana retreat-goers.

Just wanted to give you some additional insight, as someone who went into a 10-day retreat cold turkey (had never meditated a day in my life before attending) and had people all around me think I was going to a brainwashing-cult retreat.

It was very bizarre for me doing the first sit, with Goenka's cassette tape coming on, him humming and speaking in a language I didn't understand. Everyone else just sat down like they were doing an everyday part of their routine, so I was getting really weird vibes from the whole thing, like maybe I had made a mistake. The unison of it all, the chanting on the tape, the no eye contact and no speaking. You have to lock up your phone when you get there if you brought one, so the idea of not having a phone seemed sort of strange, but if you drove yourself, you don't have to lock up your keys, and it's not like you're locked up somewhere with no escape -- you could literally just get in your car and drive off of the property. Fortunately, I had read quite a bit about people's experiences before going, so, while I was a complete non-meditator going into the retreat, I was able to re-assure myself fairly easily that this wasn't a cult, and it became even more clear during the discourses when Goenka explains what the words he's chanting mean, why he's doing it, and what the whole camp is about. It's just a bit jarring, because you sort of just jump straight into it, and it only gets explained along the way, little by little.

If you're considering trying the experience, I would definitely recommend it. That would be my short answer. My longer answer would continue with "BUT", and I feel like it's a "but" that you shouldn't ignore. I recommend doing a retreat if you're interested in doing it, but don't take it lightly. When I would first tell people I went on a 10-day meditation retreat, they heard the words "retreat" and "meditation" and thought it was some sort of peaceful, relaxing, take-a-break 10-day vacation. It couldn't have been farther from that. It was one of the hardest and most trying experiences of my life. I don't think I've ever experienced such a rollercoaster range of emotions in such a short period of time, with so little actually occurring externally. I felt blissful at times, and I felt, incredibly, almost indescribably, angry and frustrated at others. Ten days is realistically not a long time. At least, when you're in your everyday routine. Ten days thrown into a completely and overwhelming change like a retreat, where you're waking up at 4 AM, meditating for a majority of the day, while doing essentially nothing for the rest (noble silence, so you can't talk or even make eye contact, but even more, you can't bring a book to read, or anything to write with, or anything really other than walking around or lying down when you're not meditating), felt like an eternity some days. I was set on not quitting, but at some point, I believe around day 4, I had just decided this was a load of crock (I was experiencing extreme anger and frustration, as I said earlier, almost indescribably), and thought I was going to endure the rest of the retreat just to say I did the whole thing, so I could better fully-criticize it afterwards and not face recourse of people saying "Well you didn't do the whole thing, and they specifically say not to judge it if you don't finish it. You can't even donate if you don't finish!"

Then, something weird happened. I believe it was day 6, I had some sort of clarity, where everything seemed to click about the camp, and I had the easiest day of sits I could have imagined, and I felt good about it, and all of it seemed to make sense. I sort of coasted with what I could only describe as a "buzz" through the last part of the retreat, to where I swear the first five days felt at least triple the length of the last five.

Then, the crescendo of the retreat, is when noble silence is broken. It's literally a crescendo of noise (talking). People were really apprehensive at first, being told "okay, now you can talk" after ten days of not so much as even looking anyone in the eye, but after twenty minutes or so, the eating area was quite possibly the loudest it could have been with people doing nothing but talking. The reason? Never in your life will you be so excited to talk to people. I don't think I've ever been as grateful to speak to people as I was on that day. Not only do you get to speak to people (which, in itself, seemed like such a joy, it's incredible how much you miss the social contact when you're literally isolated in yourself with no distractions for ten days), but, you get to speak to people who just went through the same crazy, intense experience as you. You'll immediately connect with a lot of these people in conversation and a lot of it is almost just an unspoken mutual understanding. Almost everyone I talked to, at some point in the conversation, we'd end up laughing really hard together about something.

At the end of it, I would say the only negative aspect of it, was returning back to every day life after it was over. When I first got into the car, the radio came on, and it was on some sort of "today's top hits" station, and some top-chart pop song came on, and never before in my life has music sounded so bizarre to me. I felt like an alien, trying to understand the culture of the planet I just landed on, by listening to some strange ritual-performance mesh of noises and words. It got even weirder when I got home, and people started asking me about the experience, and I talked about it. I must've had the same conversation ten times, but, I quickly realized, it wasn't the same conversation I had shared with the other people at the retreat, who had experienced the same thing I had, and therefore could really understand what I was saying. I had a hard time explaining the experience, and people reacted to my explanation of it differently, and often they would just sort of want me to give a "quick summary" of the experience, and then be done with the subject, but I never felt like I was justifying the experience by trying to summarize it. Some people looked at me strange when I described how physically painful the experience was, and how many emotions I experienced ("from just sitting and paying attention to your breath?"). To be quite honest, it felt a bit alienating, and I felt like a fish out of water for a good deal of time after getting home. My clarity, and the positive environment and simpleness of the retreat, it all seemed to be fading into memory, as I tried to re-integrate into everyday normalcy of society. It might sound like I'm exaggerating, but in the course description, it's actually stated, if you make it to day 9 I believe, you must stay for the final day of breaking noble silence (in all honesty, I don't think they'd physically stop you from leaving -- maybe they'd refuse to give you your phone), because they say it's a necessary step for "reintegration" to life. I wasn't sure about it, but it made so much more sense after leaving. I don't really know how to describe it other than it felt like I was seeing a lot of things for the first time, and a lot of it seemed really bizarre and backwards to me, which was kind of a saddening experience.

I definitely am glad to have done it, and feel like it has had nothing but an overall positive impact on my life, and recommend it to anyone who has an interest in it and has a sense of what they're getting themselves into (definitely not something I'd want to be thrown into without having a bit of background and understanding first). I believe in the integrity of the organization, and the fact that it runs completely off of donations (that they'll only accept if you've completed a full 10-day retreat) and volunteers, and always seemed to be booked months in advance, and seem to be expanding, all speak to this. I talked with some of the volunteers who live at the center after noble silence was broken, and they were all extremely nice people who oozed nothing but positive feelings. I really like the idea of it being free, and donations only being accepted after it's over. The idea is sort of a "hey, this was great, and I was able to experience it for free because someone donated before me, so I'm going to enable someone else to have this experience by also donating." Everyone I talked to at the retreat seemed to be leaving with a feeling of it being a positive experience for them, so I would imagine most donated.

Sorry, this ended up really long. I'll wrap it up.

TL;DR I'd do it again, and in fact have been thinking about when I can do it again. I don't think it's a cult, in fact, I think it's an extremely positive place/experience, but it could be jarring in the beginning just jumping straight into it. Make sure you know what you're getting into (not relaxing, extremely trying and difficult experience while you're in it, yet worth it in the end), approach with determination to get through it, and then judge after all is said and done.

/r/Meditation Thread