Love is not a finite resource. By loving one person, you're not taking anything away from your love with another.

This is the one thing I'm surprised polyamorous people say so confidently when most evidence is to the contrary. Humans organise their relationships in a limited and predictable way studies.have shown. For example one showed that people have at most 2-3 good friends a ring of close friends of a certain number I forget I think 10-15 and then after that not much in the way of close connections. When raising children after a certain number their height weight and test scores decline because parents just don't have the parental resources to give all of them what the first children may have received etc. It is obvious that humans are limited and expanding to a second or third relationship fundamentally cuts down on time spent and energy invested in each relationship if they are given equal time and energy. I think it is obvious if you have 10 children you will fundamentally not have the same relationship or attachment to each one than of you had just one or two. Relationships are no different. Humans are not infinite fonts of memory time and energy. I think that fundamental point speaks to the weaknesses of monogamy just as much as the weaknesses of polyamory. Claiming that you will perfectly love someone forever on every way when you marry them is just as foolish to me as saying I can have three partners and I will love them equally and the same as if I had only one partner.

When I am most impressed with people in this community is when they acknowledge that and say it is ok. Denying that it is a reality seems absurd to me, but I'm writing to see your take on it for this very reason.