We had a contractor from South Carolina doing some work for us - 'nice enough' but real rural white trash kind of vibe. He had just come down from Maine and New Hampshire and he commented that, "I was certain that I would come up here and everyone would treat me poorly because I am from the South, but everyone has been really pleasant."

I gave him some BS about, "Oh yeah, people are real nice up here," but in my head I was thinking, "Nah man, everyone thinks you're white trash and hates you and thinks that the world would be a better place if your shithole of a state fell into the ocean, and took everyone with it."

While not directly related to racism, I think the primary difference is that in the North, liking someone and thinking someone deserves dignity and basic human rights are not mutually exclusive...I can hate someone and still think that they should be treated as human beings. I can be creeped out by gay people, but still fully support their right to be married, adopt children, seek gainful employment and purchase a cake.

Its about conflict resolution... the North is more about "If you have a conflict with someone, remove YOURSELF from the situation" (ie. white flight) whereas the South tends to take more of a "If you have a conflict with someone, remove THEM from the situation" approach".