You use a lot of should statements and you’re quite harsh on yourself.

Given everything you’ve been through it’s understandable that you’d have so many setbacks in life.

You’ve been through a lot.

You want safety, love, comfort and all that but you can have all of that on your own. You can work on that right now. There’s nothing and nobody stopping you but your traumas.

What is the point in life? That’s not something I can answer and it’s entirely personal to you. That’s part of what makes life beautiful.

For me being alive is a good enough reward. Finding inner peace, self love , fulfillment, contentment and radical self acceptance in a world where I’m meant to be perpetually ostracized fills me with great joy.