Both you and your (should be) wife (lol) need a lesson in boundaries. Based on what you said, it seems like you haven’t communicated your needs to your significant other, and it’s making you miserable, when all you need to say is no.

Second... if you’re looking for ways to leave your relationship over this simple issue, you don’t have enough between the two of you to sustain a lifetime of relationship. It sounds like you’re in the relationship because it’s comfortable. You have to know what your needs are and be able to communicate them before you can find what you’re looking for in a partner.

In sum, please go to therapy and discuss this with a professional. It sounds drastic, but it would definitely help. Best of luck!