For the past 3-4 years one of my older sisters has done nothing but cause stress and trouble. Then at its climax she left us for her loser boyfriend. She now lives on the other side of the country and all I can think about is what we did wrong. My parents aren't abusive, they love each other, they love is, they spoil us, they have given us the best life that we could possibly have. So why on earth would she leave us for some low-life ex gang member she had only known for two months? To make it worse this wasn't the first time she had threatened to leave with a boyfriend, she's done it before. I remeber the first time she tried leaving she waved goodbye to my little siblings and then ignored my mom and I. Never before had I seen my mom break down like that. It was the first time I've ever experienced heartbreak and it still stings me. She returned the next morning and didn't see what was wrong. Why we were angry. I couldn't look at her for a few weeks. It was even longer before I could talk to her. A few months pass she leaves that boyfriend for the one she's with now and we are slowly putting our realtionship back together. Then one night my parents come home and say that when they picked her up from the boyfriends house [his car broke down] she got into a very heated argument with my dad so my dad dropped her off at the police station and said she wasn't allowed to come back until she apologized. That's all it would take. She never did and I haven't seen her since. I can't tell you the amount of heartbreak it put my little siblings through. It's horrible seeing your 7 year old brother explain with tears in his eyes to his 5 year old sister that their big sister left them for some boy. Honestly that's what I'm angry about. They way she threw her little siblings away like they were nothing.
Before I keep going on I'm going to be making it clear that I have never been diagnosed with depression (however I will be seeing a professional soon for help).
After that debacle my depression kicked in at maximum overdrive. It strained my friendships and they stopped talking to me. I've been having many suicidal thoughts and my migraines are more prevalent now than ever. My joints have been killing me and now I'm going to have to adapt to school again.
I'm sorry if this was really long and messy, right now I'm still trying to recover from being ill.