Bridezilla with fam come into the store week after my manager quit from stress and started yelling and yelling. I'm a little guy so people often liked to yell at me but I had a ton of previous sales/hospitality and retail experience and have heard it all at that point.

Anyway, the yelling is fine, I was just sitting behind the desk thinking about whatever (I never engage so I just zone out while they run out of steam - plus it wasn't uncommon to get beat up in that environment). Well, the bride's mother did something really fucking stupid, slammed the table at one point, called my ex-manager a bitch and for some reason that was the line for me even though she probably was for quitting on us like that before fully training everyone.

I wait for her yelling to pause and quietly say that per company policy I don't have to take this treatment and will not be helping her with the wedding 2 days away. If she's unhappy she can call corporate and so on.

I've never seen anyone go from red in the face ready to kill you to the most nicest person in the world that quick. Still didn't help her though.

I used to love fucking with assholes at movie theaters as well, especially kids. Company policy (this was Edward's cinemas I think) was that if they don't ask for a discount we don't have to give them. Asshole kids were the best because 2 8 year olds don't know anything about money. That beautiful look on their face when they only get 1 dollar change to their 20 instead of 7...

Or the absolute humiliation I'd put some douchebag on a date on Friday nights by telling him he needs an ID to get into an R movie even though he'd be like 25+ (they never had one and went from all alpha to 'oh come on man blah blah blah.' That was more of a double instant karma for me once I learned about the policy because the manager was a dick, and I'd always send her people like him. "Sir, it's the policy, there's nothing I can do, you may speak with my manager about it."

I do not miss the service industry at all.