Had to make the throwaway for these stories.
Story 1: It was a weekend night and I lived on a floor where a bunch of the baseball players lived as well. They partied pretty hard and often brought other friends around that didn't go to the school. Anyway, a friend and I were just chilling in my room around 1am when we heard a knock and it was one of these baseball guy's friends and he was totally blacked out, holding a blanket in his hand and asking where his friend was. My buddy and I just to pointed him down the hall and set him on the way. Probably 20 minutes after this my buddy and I are heading out to have a smoke and when we open the door, the hallway reeks of shit. As we start walking down the hall, we noticed a bunch of dark marks leading towards the bathroom and then suddenly it hit us, that guy had shit his pants while walking to the bathroom RIGHT after he knocked on my door. Being decent people, we went in to check on this guy and found him passed out hugging the toilet with vomit everywhere and shit coming out of his shorts. That was a mess neither of us wanted to deal with so we went and told the RA at the front desk about this guy. When we came back in from smoking, public safety was trying to help him up but the RA from the front desk was standing in the hallway outside the bathroom with a look of total disgust on her face as she was taking in the whole scene. I felt so badly for her, that was hella nasty to deal with.
Story 2: On one of those very late, drunken, bored nights that you have in college my friends and I were hanging out when Friend#1 suggested that we light some smoke bombs he had in his room. However it turned into a discussion about they could set some off in the building and then how to set them off at the front desk. Friend#1 and Friend#2 devised that they would wear 2 sets of clothes so they could go outside wearing one set and then come back in wearing the others to confuse the front desk RA (sorry, fuzzy memory there). Anyway, I decide to go to bed bc I know a bad idea when I hear one and tell them they shouldn't do it. I get back to my room and get in bed for probably 20 minutes before the fire alarm starts going off. Its around 3am and the entire dorm had to evacuate. It was almost spring but it was still cold as hell and most people had been passed out so they were in pajamas. I found Friend #1&2 outside and obviously they were on a huge adrenaline rush bc they hadn't expected (or maybe the right word is thought through) that the fire alarm would cause the whole building to evacuate. We all milled around outside for probably 30 minutes while public safety investigated and then they finally let us back in but as we were going in, the 2 public safety guys were standing there looking accusingly at everyone saying that "whoever did this will be caught and will be punished" while holding the two smoke bombs. Buuuuuuuuuuut they never caught them and nothing ever happened after that.
The End.