I lol'd too. Pretty hard actually. Passed out from lack of air, was taken to hospital. Doctor finds a lump on my lungs and determines I have cancer. He says I have 3 months too live. I'm on my way to my an attorney's office to write my will. But it's not like I have any money or valuables to pass on anyways. The attorney is charging me an outstanding fee and I may have to pull another loan just to pay for the bill. I feel sorry for what my wife's going through. 2 kids to look after and another on the way. She won't be able to work after I die either because of her severe clinical depression. I just hope she can hang on long enough to see our kids grow. And as for that baby on the way, she is expected in 3 months or so. I just hope I will be there to hold it before I die. That is, if it's even MY baby. My wife was raped about 6 months ago, which is just around the last time we had sex too, so I'd say that there is a 50% chance this baby is mine. We didn't have enough money to pay for the scan, and even if we did, and we found that the baby was the result of rape, we wouldn't even have enough money to pay for the abortion. My first child is 7 years old and he always fights with his younger sister, 6 years old. I just found out that my son failed the 2nd grade (for the 2nd time now) so now I have to meet with the counselor to discuss the possibility of having a special needs therapist for him. My state does not provide one for us, so I have to hire one out of pocket. My daughter however is doing fine in school. Straight A's, or whatever version of that grade system they have in elementary school. Like, check plusses or something. The only thing wrong with her is that she always talks about killing people and gross mutilations and other morbid stuff. I think she might have to see a psychiatrist or something. I'd be afraid to let her near my newborn (if I'm alive then to even be afraid) in fear of her doing something to him/her. Oh did I mention I'm getting kicked out of my house? Failure to pay rent. That's not important though, I can always start prostituting myself, wife, and kids to pay for it. I hear the sickest ones pay the most.

ANYWAY, like I was saying, nice comment OP, that really made me laugh. Thanks for your contribution!