So, some back story. It's going to be long but it's worth it. Promise.
4 years ago, I was almost 19. My dad was also getting married in 2 weeks. So, he and his friend "blackout", decided "Lets go to Rocky Point for a bachelor party!". My dad also took the opportunity to get me drunk as fuck. As soon as we cross the border I tapped my dad on the shoulder and motioned to the cooler containing a 12 pack of bud light. He told me to have at it.
So we're making our way into Rocky point and I'm about 2 beers in (nothing to brag about) when we arrive to our hotel.
Oh by th way, I'm covering the FULL Mexico story here. My dad goes to check in, me and blackout go to the pool bar at the hotel. We meet a guy there that's an American but is retired and living at this hotel. My dad comes back and we leave this fishing trip place. We go out fishing, sucking down beers and having a blast. We finish our finishing and go to this restaurant where I have some bomb ass tacos. We're all about 12 beers in at this point. We head back to the pool bar and the American is still there. He starts buying us beers and starts giving me shots. My dad tells me, "Son, the night life starts at 9, so slow down", my 18 year old response is "Fuck you dad. We're gonna get drunk. We're gonna get some pussy. We're gonna have a blast". It was about 6 at this point. From 6 to 8 I black out. Then I remember perfectly, the American buys me a tall sex on the beach and tells me only a pussy drinks it with a straw. So I suck it down.
Boom. I gotta puke. "Dddaaadddd, I don't feel so good". He pulls me back to the hotel room where he lays me down. Mind you, it's about 830 now. He leaves me there and comes back "Dad how long have I been in here?" "About 5 minutes" "it feels like days!!...I gotta puke". He helps me to the toilet. I'm so drunk, I can't remember how to puke. I tell him this and he insists I put my fingers down my throat. "But dad I don't know how to..." I arch my back and Houston, We have lift off. All I see the remains of those precious tacos spewing out of my mouth. Completely empty I slump over. Nights over folks.
Next morning we wake up at 7am and go back out fishing. I'm not hung over but I really really don't want to drink. But, after being hesitant for a hour, I start drinking. We're catching fish like crazy. Caught about 130 in 2 hours.
We go back to shore and we're hanging out at the markets buying stuff. Taking it slow, so that I don't get too drunk again. 9pm rolls around. We're ready to go to the strip clubs. We go to the Blue Zebra and we get a ride down from a cab driver named "El Gordo". We're in blue zebra having a good time, I have a stripper on my lap. A bit later, all the strippers get on the stage and the bouncer tells me dad, while pointing at one of them "she's the craziest one here man". So, my dad calls her over, and without me knowing slips get a $100 and tells her I'm a virgin and to have fun with me, totally wasn't a virgin at the time either. I go back with her thinking I'm getting a lap dance.
After my "dance", I'll come back to this shortly, I go sit next to my dad and tell him "Dad. I want to leave. I think I've been rapped." So, we leave. We catch a ride back to the hotel from El Gordo and he tells me dad "hey man. Anything you want. Coke. Weed. Girls. I'll get you it". I head immediately to the room because I am done for the night. Well my dad comes to the room and tells me to freshen up, because he got me a hooker. "What the Fuck!? Okay cool". In my mind. The girl that's about to show up is a 5'4" skinny Hispanic girl with nice tits. NOPE! it's a 5'4" 300 lbs girl with extremely large nipples that engulf her entire pancake breast. She's in the room for a full 15 minutes, only 3 of which are actual sex. I stalled as long as possible.
She leaves, I have a beer with El Gordo at the pool bar and the nights over.
Flash forward 3 years. I'm now sitting at a restaurant with my dad and then fiance. My dad looks at me and asks, "Son. What ever did happen that night at the strip club?".
Well. Here's how that night went. I go back with the stripper and she's grinding on me. She feels my crotch and I'm not hard. I just wasn't into it. So she unzipped my pants and I moved my butt to the end of the chair thinking cool, I'm going to get a blow job. Her hand runs over my balls and then towards my ass. "Hmmm. This is odd", I thought to myself. And whoop, she stuck 3 fingers up my ass. In full detail I tell my dad and fiance this. Basically, I got 3 fingers in parallel, 2 knuckles deep. At that point is when I jumped up and left.