I hope, for your sake, you aren't asking because you need help deciding what to do in your situation. I hope you haven't joined the club that no one ever wanted to join.
My wife of seven years came back from a trip acting distant and with a password on her phone. It didn't take a genius, and it didn't take long for me to figure out the password. I first found poetry she wrote for him, about how she wanted to marry him someday. Then I found the chat history, lasting a couple of months. And I found in the chat history when she first told him she loved him, and I saw his comments about me and questioning my love for her. And I saw their discussion of the last time they had sex before she returned home, and how he had pulled out, but there was still a chance she was pregnant. And if they had a daughter, how beautiful she would be. And their discussion of how he would come visit her soon, and make sure he came inside next time, so that they could have that daughter.
When she left for her trip, we were so much in love that we were just starting to try to have a second child together. And she fully admits that we were in a good point in our marriage, and doesn't understand why she did it.
I broke inside. It's been 1.5 years and I have never regained close to the same level of happiness and I don't think I ever will.
I did a typical betrayed-spouse thing, and I tried to make myself a better husband so that she would like me again. She did a typical cheating-spouse thing and didn't give a shit or feel remorse for quite a long time. She ended it, but not very willingly.
Four months later, I was still working hard on saving the marriage, and she was still keeping things from me. I got her to give up some more info, and it turns out that I wasn't the second guy she had slept with, she had had four sexual partners before me. Not sure why she had lied so long. I would never have cared, but the lying all through the seven years of marriage was hard to believe.
And then she reveals that she had another affair four years ago, when we were going through a rough patch.
So in a matter of months, I went from thinking I was the second of two partners to the fifth of seven.
The older affair was an ex-boyfriend, and the newest affair was a guy she had a crush on many years before, but never dated.
I'm paranoid. I can't trust her. I don't feel worthless, but I feel defeated. I had a good marriage before, I was utterly happy. To the point that I honestly thought I could die at any time and would feel OK with it, because I had achieved complete happiness and complete love.
She came around, she felt and feels remorse, but hates talking about it. Talking about it is one of the only things that helps me progress forward. It's rough, constantly. I hide my depression. I am happy in many ways, but I think I will never love her as much as I once did, and I think I will never leave her because I do still love her. It hurts me to think this is the only life I will get, because I would love to have had the chance to love completely, as I once did, and be loved completely in the same way, as I don't think I ever have been.