My [21/F] boyfriend [21/M] of two years used to be a compulsive liar. I still have trust issues, should I work hard to get over them, or are we doomed?

It sounds like me and my ex-fiance.

The first lie I found out about was that he smoked (he had told me he didn't when we met).

The next 10,000+ lies were a mixture of big and small. Over time, though, they seemed to be getting a little more serious. The thing is, though, I spent all my time getting over his problems. I'd still be getting over and working through one lie when another would surface. The constant fight to stay together, for me, distracted me from seeing the big picture. Honestly, for every lie I knew about, there were probably 10 that I didn't. There were nights when I would beg him, crying, to just tell me if there was anything else I didn't know about, as I couldn't handle finding out about more lies. Again, lies.

The 2.5 years I spent with him were some of the most miserable of my life. He made me doubt myself, my resolve, and my commitment. I figured if I loved someone, I would help them with their problems, and his lying was a problem.

Here's the thing- it was, and it wasn't. He had a problem, that was obvious- lying came more naturally to him than telling the truth. He would lie about what he had for lunch. There was no rhyme or reason to it. But with that being said, the only time he showed remorse, the only time he admitted anything, the only time he apologized, was when I confronted him with irrefutable evidence that I knew the truth. He chose to keep things from me.

Someone who doesn't think you are worth telling the truth to doesn't treat you "like a princess." If you have to put the word "except" or "but" after a positive statement about your partner, they probably shouldn't be your partner. Continually lying to someone is not an isolated problem. It speaks of a personality trait, and it will get worse. Please don't waste as much time as I did with someone who doesn't think being truthful to you or valuing your feelings is important.

/r/relationships Thread