Nobody's gonna read this, because I'm way too late. But I wanted to reply.

I was the abusive dad. I have bipolar disorder, and was incredibly violent for most of my life. I would become incredibly irritable and impulsive (not a good mix) for days or weeks at a time, and my wife and kids were, unfortunately, how I took my anger out. It was mostly verbal, but occasionally physical. I lost control so easily and didn't think about what I was doing.

I remember, very vividly, when my second kids was 7. He had done something (don't even remember what, but it was almost definitely something minor), I took off my belt and he just laid there and accepted it. He didn't move, didn't cry, didn't even make a sound. He just laid there with a sad look on his face, and that's when I realized where I went wrong. I dropped the belt and apologized, saying I didn't know what I was doing, he ran away. It was the straw that broke my back. I vowed to never hit or abuse my family again.

A few weeks later, I became violent again. I realized that my family would never be safe until I was out of the picture. I left my wife (who was about to divorce anyway) all my money and possessions and took a bus to another state. There I restarted my life, got a new job and eventually started seeing a psychiatrist who put me on meds that have saved my life. I still cycle and still have, to some degree, violent tendencies. But I'm much better.

I tried to get in touch with my family a few years back, my children still haven't forgiven me and my wife doesn't trust me. It's been 10 years, she's remarried to a man who takes good care of her and I couldn't be more happy (or depressed that I couldn't be that man) for her. My first kid is going to a great college and my second graduates high school this month. I dated a few times, but have since given up on that.