I'm one of those obnoxiously upbeat people, and my best friend is a clinically diagnosed depressive who is on medication, and living on disability (and feels like a failure because of that).

I annoy her sometimes. :) And I can't argue with her when she says depressives have a more realistic view of the world. We've had long conversations about our very different perspectives on life.

But here's how my brain works...

When I fuck up, I feel briefly sad about it. I'm embarrassed. I think, "Wow, that really sucks. I wish I had a time machine!"

Then I wonder what I'm going to do next. As soon as I've figured that out, I start working on it. And my big failure gets shoved to the back of my mind, to gradually fade into ancient history.

For awhile, whenever I think about it, I feel that same sting of discomfort I felt when it first happened. So, I try not to think about it too much. I tell myself life is a long series of learning opportunities, and this was just one particularly painful lesson. I tell myself to move on, let it go, what's done is done.

Some failures, particularly ones that hurt other people, sting for years. Some stop hurting in a day or two. But none of them - in MY mind - change who I fundamentally am.

I'm just me. Muddling through life. Screwing up occasionally. Succeeding occasionally. Getting by most of the time. And trying not to make the same mistake twice (but not always succeeding, even at that).

And, I like me. As a person, I think I'm the kind of person I'd enjoying hanging out with. So, that makes forgiving my screw ups a whole lot easier.

As for my friend - I think she's a lot more self-critical. Mistakes seem to cause her more pain than they cause me. She feels things more intensely, and she's more judgmental and slower to forgive. She also gets exhausted very quickly. I don't think this is something she can change about herself, but medication and therapy do seem to be helping her find some small measure of acceptance.