Was raised Christian. Sent to those brainwashing camps for kids. All that. I really tried to believe. Everyone around me would say they "knew" god was real. That they could feel his presence. I thought something was wrong with me. I just couldn't get into that state.

I read the entire Bible, front to back multiple times. It didn't make any sense to me. It was a boring book. With stories that were fairly horrible often to my young mind. I had some passages I liked and saved. Others seemed crazy.

Everyone tried to scare me with how I'd go to hell for eternity if I didn't have faith.

The cognitive dissonance was always there. As a kid I was too young to break out if it. As I got older I just came to realize it was all a big scam.

I didn't immediately go atheist. I studied Zen Buddhism for a while. Eventually felt that wasn't for me either.

At some point in my teens, I just decided I was going to stop trying to follow other people's directions, and just be me.