No forgiveness yet, and that's my heavy burden at the moment. I'm 40 years old and just this year starting to face how angry and disappointed I am about my childhood.

The beginning of my life being in the south, where children are to be seen and not heard, girls are to be "lady-like", beautiful, and "classy" above all certainly paved the road for a lifetime of bullshit ideals to untangle, alone. On top of that, I basically raised myself, mostly through poverty, always neglected, often abused: physically, sexually and mentally/verbally. Once I turned thirteen I started raising my siblings...so there went the rest of my childhood.

Though I've grown up to be a conscientious, empathetic adult, I am also absolutely seething with anxiety, depression and self-doubt.

I have zero relationship with the heaviest abusers (step-dad's, uncle, other distant family, family friends), and a distant, arm's-length relationship with my neglectful mother. I've realized being around my family brings me back to a place where I had no coping mechanisms, instantly. So I am keeping my distance for now.