I've know two friends who have killed themselves.
One of my friends killed himself fairly recently the day before Christmas. He was someone I went to high school with and graduated with. I rode on the bus with him and talked about computers with him all the time. One day him and my friend got into a fight, it was really dumb and pointless. He got banned from using computers at school because he was caught placing a trojan virus on the computers. For all the dumb things he did he was one of the nicest sincere people I have ever known and I wish he was still around. I miss him. I don't know how he actually killed himself and I don't want to know because just knowing is enough for me.
When I was in 5th grade one of my friends killed himself with a shotgun. His name was Matthew. When the funeral was over everyone had to walk by the parents and shake their hands and offer their condolences. I had no idea what to say, I could only shake the fathers hand. He seemed so sad and despaired, I can't describe it and don't like remembering it. Years before he killed himself I can remember going out into the valley of fire in Southern Nevada with my friend Matthew. My Father worked with his Dad and we would go out together sometimes to help test mice for virus' deadly to humans in the wilderness. I remember one time we got to play Nintendo together afterwards and I showed him a game I sucked horribly at. He happened to be really good at it and showed me how to play. It was Pit-Fall on the NES. He was a good kid and I wish he hadn't killed himself.
When I look back on both of my friends I just think the same thing for both. I wish there was something I could have done to help or stop them. That is really all that I am left with in the end. I wish I was still friends with them. I can understand why they did it but i'll never accept it. Life is precious and even when life is hard and everything is against you the answer is not killing yourself. Perseverance and dealing with adversity are something everyone has to deal with and some more so than others. Ask for help, do what you gotta do, but don't ever think your life isn't worth living.
Your friends will thank you even if you will never know. I know this all to well.
For how it has effected me personally. It is really hard to say. One of my friends I had known since first grade was hit by a car and killed right around the same time my friend Matthew killed himself. One of my cousins also died in a very close time period to all of this. As a kid I remember thinking of what happened to my friends when they actually died. It was hard.