For me, I need to acknowledge that I am down and then recognize the shitty personality that comes with it.

I have a tendency to fall into a depression and then tell myself that I want to be in that black hole of sadness. As long as I am doing the bare minimum to survive I'm okay. I don't feel like working out today so I'm not going to because fuck it, I can do what I want and THIS is what I want. To sit around and feel shitty. Eat chips for dinner because whatever. I didn't eat breakfast so it's not like I am taking in too many calories. Or I didn't eat for 2 days, so its totally acceptable to eat this whole pie in one sitting while marathoning some show on netflix. I get really childish with myself when I get depressed. Try to convince myself that I deserve to wallow for a while. I'm an adult and I can do what I want damn it!

So the first step in regaining control is to realize that I don't really want to be doing all that stupid shit, it's just my depression looking to fester. I have to really focus on it. Think about every decision I make. And then I picture myself as a fat puppy on a leash, being dragged through the grass because I don't want to stand up. That's pretty much how it is. I tell myself I know I need to get up and do something, so I'll slink off the couch, lay on the floor for a minute and practically crawl to get ready and go do it. After a while I think about how difficult it was to do even the basic thing and I laugh at how stupid I look.

That's kind of how I get going again. Sometimes it works fast and sometimes it takes a while. It's a regular battle, but knowing really is half the battle. When I know I'm in that hole, I also know its a fight to get out and I have to be ready to start crawling.