I was drugged at a university party. First year, didn't know many people and no one well. I didn't drink at the time, so it was something put into my soft drink.

Before it happened I thought I was strong enough to, maybe not cope, but respond appropriately?
During, I wasn't sure what was happening. She was on top of me, and my glasses were gone. Everything felt so heavy, like I had suffocated hours ago. I couldn't think, my brain itself was damaged.

After, I didn't really do ... anything about it. I found my glasses, left the house the next day. I went home and sat down. Had a shower. Stared at the wall. I sat looking straight ahead for a long time.

I don't know who did it. I can barely remember the event. I stopped going to uni eventually. I've never told a soul. I said it out loud once. That's about it. It was 7 years ago. I can't contextualise if, or how, it effected me. I was a virgin when it happened. I still think of myself as a virgin now, because sex should be a choice, right? I haven't ever had a romantic relationship with a girl, but there are plenty of people older than me who haven't, so maybe that'd be the case anyway. I know I was enjoying uni until that point.

I'll probably delete this. Years of not telling anyone, and I write this up on my main account? That's fucking stupid. But I didn't close the tab when I finished a re read it. Maybe leaving it here for a little while is enough to acknowledge it.