Idk wat to feel. I’m still young but I have no motivation, I just want to go with the flow and pushing myself to do something is tiring. My parents try to help but I always mess something up and I don’t even mean to. Somedays I’m happy but it feels fake. There are still things I enjoy to do but I just feel like I’m messing everything up and I need to just stop. I hate myself and the way I think but I can’t go against it. I know that wat I’m doing is wrong but I never see it in the moment and I can’t tell wat I’m doing wrong. I feel like I’ve already past my peak when I was 15, I did good in school and I was getting better at the games I was playing. Fast forward to now and while I’m taking harder classes they are not going we right now. I stay after school but it amounts to nothing, I had to stop playing games to focus on school and now I can’t even get enjoyment out of games because I can’t do wat I was able to do. It’s all just sad to see me put so much time into something and then have it fall between my hands. I feel like I was in this huge pedestal and it was swept underneath me. I’m just gone, and maybe it’s good for me because it means that my ego is in check, but the feeling of losing it all, without any real reason hurts to admit.