Everything is reducible to interactions between discrete quantum particles creating a sense of reality so that might be a little too reductive. Your post did strike an idea in my head though that maybe our insistence on personal traits being the only "decent" way to compliment one another comes from another poor trait I see too often in society: bootstrapping. Maybe to try and undo the evolution of physical being the only determining factor in a mating and to give extra creedence to the relatively newfound concept of "personality" (evolutionary timeline speaking) people overemphasize personality and lie about the remaining importance of physical traits. Similar to the concept of trying to increase women or other "underrepresented" types of people in a career field by reaching out to only those people and in turn creating an odd sense of prioritizing one thing over the rest instead of reaching a normalized equilibrium