Allowing some sort of leniency by smoking weed.

I never had a problem with alcohol, but opiates and benzos almost took my life. I barely remember certain years of my life because I was constantly popping pills. I did things that the "real" me would never do. Sex with certain people (I was never really promiscuous but definitely had sex with a couple people I otherwise never would have), arguments with people, revealing personal details to people about my life when high. The person I was when I was on pills is a world of a difference from the person I am now.

I have a boyfriend now, nieces, and a family that loves me. My family always loved me but I never believed I could tell them what was going on. They ended up finding out when my mom was suspicious about my constant puking, sleeping, diarrhea, etc and read my diary. I was furious at first but now I am so glad she read it. They never sent me to rehab but I guess I kind of fixed myself.

The withdrawal was terrible. I wanted to die. Thought about overdosing or killing myself in some other way. I went through extreme depression and still deal with horrible anxiety and depression. I'm working towards getting back to "me" but at this point I'm not even sure who that is, I've been doing drugs for so long.

I smoke weed daily and that usually takes the urge away to do other drugs. I'm really trying. I never thought that I would be a person that would get addicted to something. Anyone can become an addict.

It's not something to be ashamed of. No matter how you think the people in your life will react if you tell them you need help, I encourage you to. It's not something you want to fight on your own.