I was kidnapped at age 13 by a substitute teacher who taught a few of my classes in middle school. He lived right down the road from me so it was easy for him to pick me up on the street when walking to a friend's house. One evening I got into his car after asking if he could give me a ride. My parents always told me not to get into a strangers car but I knew him so I didn't think much of it. He didn't take the turn to my friends house so I started getting pretty ancious. He proceeded to molest me throughout the night then drop me off across the street from my house.

After traumatic events that occurred after this including harassment by the other students in my school. "Go fuck another teacher." Was a popular comment. I began to just not give a fuck. I hated myself and all the friends who abandoned me as well as the people who would harass me.

At 14 I'd hang out with older guys to smoke weed and drink. At 15 I lost my virginity to one of the guys I'd hangout with. I said no so many times but he went for it. I didn't tell anyone because I thought I deserved it. I experimented with a handful of different drugs, mostly psychedelics. I got into the wrong crowd and did alot of things that I shouldn't have while all of the people who abandoned me were in AP courses and thinking about college.

When senior year of highschool came around I snapped out of my fucked up mindset and began the stage of paranoia about being kidnapped and raped. PTSD is really serious and most people only think of ex military people having it but any trauma can cause it. I still struggle with anxiety and waves of depression but I don't let it control my life like I once did. I'm almost 19 now, in college, majoring in environmental science and have a life to look forward to. The unfortunate thing is that no one oher than my family tried to help me in my time of need. After years of my anger and acting out my family starred to give up. That's when I knew I needed to get my life together. I'm lucky that I didn't end up dead.