3. [Serious] What’s a dark secret you want to get off of your chest?

[Serious] What’s a dark secret you want to get off of your chest?

Part of me wants my dad to die. My dad cardiac arrested last year around this time and was in the hospital for two months. The first few weeks he was in a coma and was believed to be brain dead, he did die a few times but was resuscitated while he was in the hospital. My dads a raging paranoid narcissist and he makes me and my siblings and my moms life pretty fucking miserable most of the time. Deep down he has a good heart and he’s a sensitive person that mostly means well even though he had a very traumatic past but watching my mom live like this is terrible. My dad doesn’t really remember being in the hospital but my mom literally slept there stayed with him the literal whole time it was hard on all of us and at the time I had just turned 18. My dad so far has not changed a single thing in his life, he’s even worst personality wise and especially with his health habits. He still eats shit food constantly, doesn’t work out, drinks several glasses of alc everyday. When he actually fucking survived without any disabilities or brain damage the doctors said it was a miracle and they haven’t seen anything like that. He has absolutely no gratitude for my mom even though she literally nursed him back to health. He even was paranoid and argued with her because he thought that she was going to steal his money and he thought someone drugged him and sent him into cardiac arrest. Honestly, he has maybe a couple years left to live. For a long time while he was in the hospital I thought maybe this is better maybe this will change him and get him out of the rut he’s been in for his whole life and he will become a better person for my mom and for us but I was wrong. Now, even though I don’t necessarily want him to die because he is my dad and anytime I think of him dying I think of all the childhood memories with my dad and it fucks me up, but I think him dying is the only way I think any of us can grow and be happier overall. I don’t know how to feel about it but I really think this is the only way my mom especially can be better because it’s killing her to be with him.

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