Not OP but I stopped taking meds for my depression several times. Basically because it made me a zombie.. I was calm but never excited, motivated, etc..

I just was. My girlfriend, the only girl I was considering "proposing to" ever (I don't really think marriage is anything special, but that's another story) had left and got the cat and apartment..

I was upset, I cried, but I didn't really "care". That was when I got scared because I loved her, and we talked a bit after and she mentioned I wasn't "me" anymore and we kinda became roommates instead of SO's.. It destroyed my sex drive and I'd rather have just gotten myself off than put the work in for sex..

It hurt me because I knew I wasn't treating her the way she deserved. No abuse, but like, I just stopped making her feel loved, mainly because I felt nothing

I just existed

I used to have goals and shit but when the meds took, I just "became" sort of nothing.

Stopped taking them and definitely went through some rough shit. I bounced back a few times and it's been a process, but I find myself a little more curious and interested about life.

I'd almost rather feel every feeling, than feel nothing

Idk, I just needed to vent today