I have a few.

I would like to tell a FB friend stop trying to be funny when you clearly aren't. Stop spamming your recent comedy gigs and plastering your face on facebook every ten minutes. I only check facebook 3-4 times a day and it seems like you never ever leave. I had the misfortune to see your improve comedy act by accident and I cringed so goddamn hard and it wasn't because I know you its because it was that bad. Your jokes aren't even relevant or make sense half the time. Just stop please you are killing comedy along with your friends whose parent's never once told them maybe they could be bad at something.

I would like to tell a co-worker to stop being so goddamn rough with your son. Yes hes in his late twenties and still lives at home but that guy has gone through so much shit. You let your husband his father kick him out of the house over something trivial. He had to hide under the deck because it was raining and he didn't have his keys or phone. Yet you do every little goddamn thing for your daughter who married a known criminal who is going to get them all in trouble. You probably had to put up a 3rd or 4th mortgage to afford everything she asked you to do while she has a great full time job. Its unfair and your son doesn't deserve to be treated like shit especially when he is cleaning up his act.

To a family member seriously go fuck yourself. If the good news isn't about you or your kids you shit all over it. I finally did something I thought never possible and I don't want blind praise I don't want anybody to be happy for me I am happy but you just shit all over it and talk behind my back and tell everyone I will fail. Seriously there is a reason why no one likes your kids and everyone thought one of them would shoot up a school. Get a reality check and worry about your own goddamn kids and see what weridos they are and try to help them cope with the real world and don't worry or shit all over what I am doing.