I am a asian 19f turning 20 next month attending a large university and there is absolutely a big stigma among some of my friends about having sex.

My friends are divided into two large camps.

The first group are largely my old high school friends and their mutual friends. Almost all of them are third generation Chinese girls and no one talks about sex at all. Boys, all the time, but not sex.

All of them have very strict requirements on what they want their boyfriend to be such as a minimum height so they still look cute together when we're wearing heels, how they address their parents, whether they have a drivers license or not and a plethora of other requirements. Almost all of my friends in this camp are either not religious or they are Buddhist.

All of them either have a long term boyfriend and it is implicitly assumed that they have been having sex, but no one ever talks about it.

The very thought of even making out with a guy in a club with them is unthinkable. I would certainly be ostracized from the group if they found out I have a fwb. I cannot even fathom how they would judge me if they found out he cums inside me regularly or that I swallow. This clique was a serious consideration whether or not I should use the patch or not so that I don't raise suspicion. Sex thing aside, they are still my friends regardless of this singular viewpoint and unfortunately the topic of this conversation makes them sound worse than they actually are.

The other camp of friends I have are a mixed bag of races, they are almost all people I have met from classes and do not travel in one big clique like my other group of friends. They are very comfortable talking about last night's hook up or talking about whether they should give a classmate another chance at sex. Even then, it is never in a public setting and it is usually restricted to conversations over facebook and snapchat. These are the kind of people that could care less if people are making out on the couch at a house party.

Even with this group, although the fact that you are sexually active is not a secret, noone goes into any details other than that they gave a blow job or who they had sex with. There is regular conversation about who had sex with who, but even for them, going into the specifics is a little taboo.

Personally, I kind of have a foot in both waters between having to play my role as conservative and letting loose. I honestly think among my high school friends, they all want to have and talk about sex. They totally would if it wasn't for a positive feedback loop making it taboo.