Share your hoover stories!

Did you discard or them?

2011 no - he discarded me by ghosting me. 2018 I ended our engagement because his behaviour was becoming unreasonable - he spent my birthday with the girl he was cheating on me with and I broke up with him two days later. I think he did it knowing I would probably leave him, so a different flavour of discard.

How long after was the hoover?

2011 - the first one was within 6 months. Then another yearly thereafter, but it was his friends doing it for him because he was in prison. 2018 - he hoovered me the day after he was released from prison. After I left him in 2019, the hoovers were basically daily. After I went complete no contact January 2020, it was every month or so until August 2020. Then it was just the IG follows.

What method?

2011 - email and fb messenger. 2018 - texts to my phone and messages to my fb business page because I couldn't figure out how to block him there. Oh, and lots of fake/multiple IG accounts that would try to follow me or would be recommended to me.

What did they say?

Apologies. Tons of apologies. And lots of bragging and gloating. Interspersed with pretending nothing was wrong like it was completely normal to do this kind of thing.

How did you reply?

2011 - I didn't. 2018 - at first I responded because I was in the FOG and still in love, we had decided we could be friends. After complete no contact I have not responded to anything - just blocked everywhere I could and everywhere he came up.

If you didn’t react did they hoover again?

2011 - yes, see above. 2018 - see above.

Have they hoovered after every discard?

Yes, but only periodically.

If so was it a similar process each time?

Yes, more or less.

/r/NarcissisticAbuse Thread