It’s ironic because in one of my relationships (non-nex) I really was being too critical and moving the goalposts on my boyfriend.

He voiced that to me, I realized he was right, I acknowledged that, said sorry, and became more mindful of it. But the difference was that he actually was trying to meet my needs for a while and there was tangible proof of that that I wasn’t fully appreciating, so he was right. After that we didn’t have the same problem twice, we even laughed about it.

With my nex, no tangible proof of him ever making an effort when I asked for the bare minimum, in the most diplomatic way possible. So it was all just cold manipulation. Making me apologize and feel crazy despite never ever trying to meet a reasonable request.

I think the reason I fell for it so easily was because of my history with making unreasonable demands and being actually controlling. So I gave him the benefit of the doubt instantly. But it was so unfair, because I literally had grown and hadn’t repeated that behaviour in this relationship. Such a mindfuck, but you really have to know ur character and intentions at heart.