I don't think I need to become a better person, I am okay with who I am. I should not have to change my personality to find someone who is a decent human being. In fact one of the things that has been a very sore subject is people telling me I should be someone else and it is really really fucked up that I should have to change my personality to make someone else happy. If they don't like me for who I am then they should not get into a relationship with me in the first place, not get into a relationship for who they think I should be and then get mad when I refuse to become that person.

You have no idea how much it has messed with my head with my ex telling me there is something wrong with me when it was not me the whole time. I have gone to a lot of therapy and to couples therapy and every time it turns out I am not the terrible person she says I am. Then of course she says the therapist is wrong and that I am a bad person and should feel bad and do what she says is right. I am a good person and do not need to change to fit someone elses view of what I should be because it is more convienent for them to manipulate me into thinking the problem is me than it is for them to change themselves or move on.

I have gone through TWO long term relationships where my partner was extremely manipulative and emotionally and verbally abusive, one of whom has since apologized because she later went to therapy and realized how horrible she treated me. The other still blames me for all of her problems even though we are no longer together.

So no, I do not need to become a better person I just gave up on trying to find someone who is not playing some game and/or is manipulative and trying to get something from me because it is more trouble than it is worth.