I had just merged onto a high speed 3 lane road in Winnipeg that is normally busy, but except for a lone sporty Japanese car in the far left lane, was empty for a few blocks back. The motorcycle under me churned happily, now that I had the radiator facing into the wind again. I needed to turn left, and he was closing slowly, a comfortable distance back. 4 signal blinks, a shoulder check, and rolling on some throttle to even the closure rate, I move into the left lane. This apparently was a grave insult. Accelerating to close the distance quickly, the car came uncomfortably close behind me. The gleaming new car began an aggressive pass on the right.

So I said to myself, "what the fuck?" "Invalid query" self exclaims in return. He's a little literal sometimes. "Does he look a little aggressive to you?" "More than a little", self agrees.

50 meters ahead, the car slams on the brakes with a squawk of the tires, and ends up behind me. Repeating his performance, he passes me with as much acceleration as he had to call upon. Seconds later, we roll up to the red light, the car on the right, me on the left. We're both first in line. The driver is staring at me with a look that seems like he wants me to burst into something. Flames I guess.

Myself automatically begins tallying options. As I don't have any nuclear weapons on me at the moment, the rules of engagement falls to the bottom of the list. Because the driver repeatedly demonstrated erratic behaviour, Escape and Evade bumps one place higher than Ignore. "Allow the fhithead to go through the intersection before you, and turn left to escape" self recommends to me. I agree wordlessly. Yourself already knows what you're thinking when you're talking to him.

It's a long light. Lots of time to think it through. "Watch the intersecting traffic for people running the red", myself reminds me. A quick glance around shows an impatient soccer dad on the right waiting to invade the territory of the oncoming traffic and turn left across our bow. An additional consideration floats upwards and begins to tickle the bottom of the list of emerging possibilities. I might be able to convince the nearly adolescent driver of the car to leave me behind and get through the intersection so far in advance of me that he doesn't see what happened to me.

I nod at the car and blip the throttle a few times. The stare of hatred twists into a snarl, and then a predatory grin. The wind kept me from hearing anything, but if I could, I would probably hear a Klingon style low throaty growl. Driver, having an automatic and not knowing what to do with that wide pedal and the skinny pedal at the same time, is having difficulty coordinating blipping the gas.

Self executes an automatic timed situational awareness scan and pops up a priority alert. Well it was about that time self notices that the driver is about a 6 stories tall crustacean from the paleolithic era. That damned Loch Ness Monster had foiled their plans again! He rolled down his window and said "I'm gonna need about tree fiddy". "Goddamnit Monstah, I ain't givin' you no tree fiddy!" I yelled and angrily sped away.