a lot of social anxiety stems from low self-esteem and caring too much about what other people think of you. i've had debilitating social anxiety for the majority of my life. i could NOT function in any type of social situation. i was visibly shaking, anxious, and blushing just sitting in a classroom of my peers. i never spoke up, skipped lunches to hide by myself in the library; i was genuinely suicidal and cried myself to sleep at some points in my life because i just felt like i could not function in this world.

i also tried medication and therapy, but neither made a significant difference in my anxiety, just because my anxiety was just so bad, and so i came to the conclusion that there was just something wrong with my brain that caused me to be so socially anxious all the time.

this was maybe 2-3 years ago that things were this bad. today, 90% of my social anxiety is gone. i hardly feel any anxiety anymore. before, stepping outside of my house was a journey and i would be self conscious crossing the street in front of cars. now, i don’t fumble over my words when i speak. my mind doesn’t go blank during conversations. i can actually joke around and be funny when talking to my peers.

why? because my self-confidence shot up. how? i got more attractive in college and people, men and women, started treating me differently. i wasn’t so afraid to speak my mind up because i knew i wouldn’t be rejected; there was just this reassurance that wasn’t there before; i knew that the other person didn’t think i was weird.

i’m not telling you to get more attractive in order to solve your social anxiety. i’m telling you that social anxiety is mostly self-esteem issues, so you should work on that.

i wish i had this answer when i was in high school, because i spent so much time trying to figure out what my problem was. medication, breathing techniques, workbooks — none of that shit’s going to work if your social anxiety stems from low self-esteem