Listen to me carefully. When I was 18, I worked so much that I didn't even have time to prepare for college. I worked so much I started to teeth grind in my sleep, at age 18. My hands also has tremor (shaky). I chased after the money. Always dreaming about being rich because I grew up poor. I am Asian. Adapted into the stereotypical joke of "I work really hard because I'm no fun". I am 28 now. My life is mechanical as fuck. I am the MVP every where I work. When I hate a job so much I quit, they take a hit for taking me for granted. Chill out and stop pressuring yourself over this mentality of what is a kid or teenager. You need relax and be human. You're still young, you need to carefully calculate paying back your debt. Stay with your parents. You're still young. Moving out right after high school for dorms and apartment is over rated and isn't going to help you financially starting out. So if home is not a toxic environment, stay.

Your new possible position. Ask to shadow it. Seeing things for what it's worth will relieve you some what.

Stay strong.