My guy I relate to this so heavy. I am a pretty funny and goofy dude in front of my close friends and when I study with people from my classes but when it comes to making lasting relationships I can’t do it. I enjoy my privacy a lot and am edging the line between alone and lonely a lot. I want to branch out but I can’t seem to do it. I don’t know what to say and shit. Small talk seems like such a hassle and unnecessary thing to me. My buddies all say I’m super introverted/antisocial and they’re kinda right but man it kinda sucks sometimes. I see all my old “best friends” from high school drinking and chilling in college and on breaks and I feel forgotten because I never made an effort. Idk it’s not the exact same thing but I feel you. Hope we figure it out man.