I imagine that the people who are dissatisfied are the ones who post the most. You know, to vent.

I also believe that there are HL people, like myself, that lurk on this board in order to feel not so alone and in order to not feel so unloved.

I had to think for almost a decade before accepting my LL spouse for what he was. It took a lot of maturity also. I had to truly empathize with my LL spouse and feel what he felt. I also realized that he’s the best man that I have ever known and that’s the trade off. Good husband, dead bedroom.

Your journey is going to be very personal. Basically, you’re going to have to live in your spouses shoes for a while. Truly feel what they feel, be it genital pain, childhood trauma, pornography addiction, fear, or bodily dysfunction.

Sometimes counseling doesn’t help. It never helped me.

While I want to say that you can only take this journey with your spouse, I feel that is disingenuous. It’s a journey within yourself. You have to figure out if you’re willing (and strong enough) to live a life that is mostly devoid of sexual activity. Many on this thread cannot. I decided to stay because he’s a good man and he’d make an excellent father to our turkey-baster children.