It helped me to understand that there wasn’t anything wrong with me. He is not a sexual person and when I was really honest with myself, he never had been. My enthusiasm drove every sexual encounter which was humiliating to realize and humiliation pretty much killed any desire I had for him. We tried counseling but it’s asking him to be a totally different person from what he is and no amount of counseling can do that. You can’t counsel a cat into being a fish. Now I appreciate him as a best friend and coparent but I won’t ever see him as an object of desire again. It also helped that we now have separate bedrooms. No point in being sleep deprived from his door rattling snoring if there was no chance of any action. I really enjoy having my own space too. I still have a pretty intense sex drive but I have no interest in him. I don’t know what I would do if someone offered me a roll in the hay but frankly, I’m super plain so that’s not something I’ve had to worry much about! It sucks. If I knew then what I know now I would make different choices but I have to do what is best for my kiddo, and this is what is best for now.