Bottom line: Space is valuable. Give it to her.

If I've been romantically involved with someone, it takes me about a solid year to get over things. That's the time it takes for me to get myself back together and forget all the bad moments.

If it's someone I was just hanging out with casually (no sex), then I tend to need about six months before I'd be fine seeing them again.

Story time: Case in point. I met a guy in October. He wanted to get physical way too quickly for me, so I told him no thanks and didn't contact him after our first date. I was also fresh out of something and just wanted to date a lot of guys casually.

In January, we ran into each other at a party. We were friendly. I hung out with him and his friends. We went on another date. I wasn't emotionally ready for anything, and he was 30 minutes late, so I said I needed space. I had to get a little assertive about it to drive the point home for him. He backed off when he saw I was serious.

I literally ran past him a few weeks ago. He was guiding some people around for work, and I was on a long run. We smiled, waved, and laughed. I sent him a text the other day because (1) he respected my space, (2) I liked him as a person, (3) in January I was dealing with someone very close to me killing himself and needed time to process that and a few other deaths in the past year. I also happened to watch a movie a week or so ago with an actor who looks and talks like him, so that reminded me of our good conversations.

To my surprise, he responded to my text quite positively. I felt like I had been a bit harsh, as I can slam doors and shut people out on a whim for my own need for space and time alone. Sometimes I want to open that door again, but I'm always hesitant that the person on the other side has already determined I'm a horrible human. It's nice to know some people can be understanding and give me third chances.