Not a piercer or tattoo artist.
I'm gay. What does a gay 22 year old do in Hollywood at 1 a.m. in the morning? Calls up one of their bestfriends and goes to get his dick pierced. So, I'm pretty trashed....definitely drunk, most likely on some pills(I don't remember, young and dumb). Walk into the tattoo shop and tell them what I want. No problem, they'll have to call some girl that works down the street to come up and do it(for those of you unaware, Hollywood Blvd is kind of littered with tattoo shops open til about 3/4a.m.), cool I'll wait.
In walks this 4'2", female midget(little person?), all dressed in black, black hair, black lipstick, black everything, typical goth stuff or whatever. Turns out she is the one who is going to pierce my willy...lucky me. Also turns out she just turned 19 and recently got certified...why am I still here? Again, whatever. So she tells me to follow her...I assume to a back room or something, you know, private.
I was wrong. The tattoo shop is one big open room, and she just has me lay down flat on one of the benches and drop my pants. More insight for those who don't know, Hollywood Blvd is packed at this time of night, and people love to wander into the tattoo shops. I guess, I still wasn't too worried...being a bit fucked up calmed my nerves, I have my friend sober cracking his shit at the ridiculousness of situation, and I go for it. Hurt bad, not as bad as I expected.
She then takes a rubber glove, puts my dick in it, kinda tapes is on, and tells me to leave it on over night because I might bleed a bit. Okay, no worries, makes sense.
Walk home. No problems. Hangout some more. No problems. Go to bed. No problems.
Wake up and, I kid you not, the fucking glove is completely filled with blood. Think a water balloon near explosion from being filled to over-capacity. I freak out, probably not as much as I should. Whatever, tape another glove and go to work. Halfway through work(managed a restaurant at the time) go to use the restroom....glove is already halfway full of blood. The fuck?
This went on for a week or so before I was finally smart enough to go back....they get the bitch in there to come look at it when she just calmly says "Oh ya, I accidentally pierced it to a 6 gauge, but put an 8 gauge ring in, I thought it would just heal." Shit did heal a couple days later, on it's own. When I went back, she offered to put a 6 gauge in it, but once I knew it would heal soon I decided to just wait it out.
TL; DR - My Willy swam in oceans of blood for days because my midget piercer fucked up.