These are very fair points, thanks a lot!

With the sharing the mutual costs in the relationships, I don't think she's expecting guys to pay for her. But I think its more there are situations she may have to either pay for them, or help pay for them.

For instance a guy on half her wage isn't going to want to split his half of the costs at a $50+ per meal restaurant, or drink expensive wine etc. So if she wants to do those things, in my view it would be reasonable of her to at least contribute a bit to his costs.

I don't know if its unreasonable, but for instance most guys on normal wages can't afford to just spend 10k on a holiday when it suits them. Yet people who earn over 5 figure incomes can and want to.

As for the weight loss, no no, i'd never encourage her to become a stick. I'd put her at like 165lbs right now. Which doesn't look huge, but I think if she was a more normal 130lbs she'd have far more success. Sometimes to attract a partner you do need to do the best you can physically to become attractive. I know as a guy I don't spend 5 days a week in the gym because its fun.

Lastly, think of things she does well. Not just in relationships but life in general. Put these little reminders in the conversation too. Let it feel like more of a discussion instead of just one of you talking at the other. Good luck!

Thats also a very good point, honestly, I think she's a pretty good, caring person and she is by no means a 'damaged goods' or a lunatic or anything like that. She has hangups on commitment and I think in a way those hangups actually damage her capacity to find anyone.