Yes I understand, in the span of 2 years I lost, my father (who was abusive and cut off, but you always hope they will turn around), broke relationship with my mother (also abusive), got a divorce, my brother had a catastrophic stroke and is a vegetable, my sister had a stroke and has limited use of her limbs, I lost a child at 13 weeks, got diagnosed with a brain tumor among other health issues. And I could keep going. Life is really nuts sometimes. My therapist has been amazing at gaining perspective and coming to terms with all these things. I cannot emphasize how important it is to do this, it is worth saving the money and going it will help you the rest of your life. An investment into yourself and your future mindset.