3. TIFU by going to a guy's house for a first date

TIFU by going to a guy's house for a first date

Okay OP here's what you do:

You set up your next date with your man friend because every man deserves a second chance. You meet at a hotel room, a decent one, not a rusty motel but not crazy Vegas quality either. You meet with your man friend for sexy time! OP and her online cyber Dan (whatever dude's name is) get freaky deaky and all nakey nakey....kinky kinky....sexy sexy....you get the dealy dealy.

OP is playing with her man friend's penis a little, she touched it a little. Now she is about to take her man friend in her mouth when she starts singing..."I'M SEARCHING AND I'LL MELT INTO YOU. WHAT A FEAR IN MY HEART....BUT YOU'RE SO SUPREEEEEEEEEME!!!!"

Then her man friend says, "SNAAAAAAKE EAAAAAAAAAAAAAATERRRR!!!!!!!"

Suddenly the bathroom door opens. But who?

"Hey, only I'm allowed for to play with his penis and some kisses."

Oh no....IT'S THE JENNY GIRL and online guy is Zach.

Jenny then gets nakey and starts making out with Prettybutfat for some naked hot female action like on Cinemax. They both look at Zach and tell him to hurry up and get in for a magical threesome.

Zach says, "I'M A CHARGIN MY BONER!!!!"

Suddenly the phone rings.

Prettybutfat answers the phone.

"Hello?" says Prettybutfat

"Who are the Patriots" the caller says.

"What?" says Prettybutfat.

"We were behind everything. The meeting, the affair, the fornication, the deflated footballs. We triple crossed all you bitches."

"OCELOT! METAL GEAR!?!?"

Zach: YOU KNEW?!?!

"Let me ask your this Prettybutfat," says the caller. "Where was OP when Outer Haven fell?"

"What?" says Prettybutfat.

"Outer Haven is fell." said the caller.

"No," says Prettybutfat.

Suddenly a freaking Russian Helicopter appears shining a light in the hotel room. The door opens on the helicopter, it's the original OP, MyLifeSuxNow.

"JENNY! IT'S NOT OVER YET!!! WE'RE NOT FINISHED!!"

TO BE CONTINUED?

/r/tifu Thread
Previous
Next

Recently removed from /r/tifu

TIFU by speaking Finnish at work TIFU while arguing with my boyfriend TIFU by losing my faith over a poem. TIFU by leaving the house after I caught my wife flirting with a coworker on the phone TIFU by learning that I can suck myself off. TIFU by breaking up with my boyfriend after finding out he was trans. TIFU by not sexually assaulting a girl on the first date, AGAIN. TIFU by trying to approach an older woman at the gym. TIFU by showering in lukewarm water for a whole year TIFU finding out the elevator thing is real! TIFU by almost dying TIFU by having female friends TIFU by eating Hot Sauce called BUTTHOLE DESTROYER TIFU by using Airbnb TIFU by going through my boyfriends phone.

More Random Comments

Have you ever had a personal rivalry in an MMO or otherwise? What was it like? TIL The Futurama Cast Want to continue Futurama. They want to collaborate with Netflix! Have you ever had a personal rivalry in an MMO or otherwise? What was it like? Have you ever had a personal rivalry in an MMO or otherwise? What was it like? When did professional athletes emerge? And what sport first adopted the idea of pros? Me [26 M/F] with my wife [25 M/F] together 5 years, we emigrated 6 months ago. Hates my entire family over 6-month-old argument with a distant in-law, wants me to sever ties to them all, says I "have no respect" for her until I do Like a boss, Haydn. Annoying Error -- Anyone have a Suggestion? Have you ever had a personal rivalry in an MMO or otherwise? What was it like? ELI5:Why aren't there any rectangular or other various shaped planets? Why is every planet we find spherical? 415% rent increase on Bernal Heights flat?! HIFW after several weeks of feeling depressed and letting everything slide, I got out of bed at 9am, spent 6h cleaning my flat, went for a run, did grocery shopping and am now eating a fucking home cooked meal while marathoning 30 Rock. [Serious] What Do You Need To Get Off Your Chest? Kendrick Lamar's To Pimp a Butterfly Is Out Now RAGE THREAD | MARCH 11TH - MARCH 16TH