Hey, I'm sorry to hear of your circumstances. I've been in a similar boat, although I wasn't married which made things easier. I think deep down in your heart you know she is lying, which seems surreal given what you've invested. There will always be a part of you that will wonder if she was telling the truth, but anybody looking at your situation objectively will tell you to cut your losses now. You're relationship will never be healthy again if she cannot come clean. How would you respond to her if she came clean about it? I have studied human sexuality in University, and it sounds like she was cheating on you emotionally which is far less repairable than sexual infidelity...

It's hard to leave something which is so central to your life. I was pretty crushed when this happened to me, which made me realize that I was overly dependent on my interpersonal relationships for happiness. I spent a couple years working on becoming happy as an individual, getting into hobbies and building a life that is mine. I'm in a much stabler position now, I'm more ready than ever to have a healthy relationship if I meet somebody worth investing in emotionally, and most importantly I have a much better idea of what kind of person I'd pursue emotional investment in. Loneliness is the hardest part, but I'd rather be lonely than stuck in an unfulfilling situation.

Don't feel guilty for intruding on her privacy. You had a damn good reason, and she intruded on your privacy by manipulating you and putting you at risk of STIs. The fact that your relationship seemed to be going well makes it all that much worse...

I wish you good luck. As a general rule of thumb, I think you should aim to move beyond your grief within half the time you spent in a relationship with her. It's going to be a rough while ahead for you, but hold ya head up high. Once you get over it single life is actually pretty fun. I went to the bar last night and had some crazy girl lick my asshole!