3. TIL That every time you recall a memory, you're remembering the last time you re...

TIL That every time you recall a memory, you're remembering the last time you remembered it. The memory gets distorted even more each time.

When I first learned about this phenomenon in psychology 101, I started having many doubts of my own memories.

So my father used to beat me and I remember many of the beatings as clear as day. The oldest memory is from when I was in kindergarten and some of them are really fucked up. When I first heard this during a lecture, I had to ask myself whether these memories were real. I was sure that he did beat me, but were they really that fucked up?

The thing is, my father is well-known for having a temper among those who are close to him, but also, he is known for being fair and honest. He is basically considered a pillar of the community. Did the same respected person pull me out of the shower with soap still on my hair, didn't even give me a chance to get dressed to hit me until a bone in his hand broke?

Or did I just make that up in my head to vilify and justify my hatred for my father, who otherwise tried to mold me into a good person. He paid for my tuition, got me tutors when I showed sign of any talent and sent me to a rather expensive boarding school when I asked for it. Just like an eye witness from the lecture altering his memory to fit a profile of a criminal, did I change my memory so I could hate someone who supported me without any guilt? It was something that most people would consider an interesting fact and forget it soon after, but this revelation that my memories could be altered started to drive me insane.

Then I remembered telling my grandfather in 7th grade that I am going to get rich so I could hire a hitman to kill my father when I grew up(which I assume he didn't tell anyone. probably thought it was just teenage hormones talking). And that when I asked to be put in a boarding school leaving all my friends behind, it was after I ran away from home until my aunt who lived in the same city found me and brought me back. These things couldn't have happened without a reason, right?

I figured maybe some of the memories are true and some of them are made up in my head. But not all of them could be fake, could it? So I stuck with hating my father.

And thank god for the internet. In real life, I feel guilty talking to my friends about this who lost their parents, so I don't really talk about this so much.

/r/todayilearned Thread Parent Link - northwestern.edu
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